Seitz. Writes.

Somebody once said something about either being born great or having greatness thrust upon you. They left out Michael Kinahan, a man who burst out of greatness’ chest and terrorized its crewmates. What job could possibly be held by a man who pisses excellence with as much style as Kinahan? What position in the world could such a man–a man who could have melted the iceberg that destroyed the titanic with his mind–hold?

He is, or was, a girl’s soccer coach in Scituate, Massachusetts. He, like so many other champions of greatness in the history of this fine country, lost his job for speaking the truth in a letter to parents before the season. He also renamed their team “Green Death” and compared the play he expected to Michael Vick’s pit bulls. I first heard about his story on Deadspin, who got their details from the Patriot-Ledger (where you can get the full text of his email to parents). I then saw it on PTI this afternoon, and, if my knowledge of how these things work is correct, he will soon be quoted by internet commenters and SportsCenter anchors in equal measure (See: “Boom goes the dynamite”).

And if he gets enough publicity, he’s just about guaranteed to be coaching another youth sports team, or writing a column, for someone who has a sense of humor. I’d expect him to replace Calipari in Memphis, personally.

If I were one of those parents, I’d just be happy that the only Law & Order: SVU character he resembles is Chris Meloni.

Tags: Deadspin, Green Death, Michael Kinahan, Patriot Ledger
Filed under: Random